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I Fucked Up and I Give Up

My crusade's done. You do you.

[05:09] wastebin: as much as the old site was kind of nostalgiaminey, I miss the way it looked and mARITEAUX can piss off
[05:09] TEH LEROY: That's the way, comrade!!
[05:09] wastebin: if he takes issue with it
[05:09] ☣MIA☣: do what you want kek
[05:11] TEH LEROY: well.. i think because my site looks like that, is because for mari to stop complaining about it, but i want to get back to it roots, like the time my site looked like a rainbow trashcan
[05:11] TEH LEROY: that why i asked for the table style borders
[05:12] TEH LEROY: Well... idk if it possible to make a fully retro site with html5 tweaks, i tried
[05:14] TEH LEROY: with the current one
[05:17] ☣MIA☣: if you want to then don't hesitate!
[05:18] ☣MIA☣: you just need to accept the hate tho lololol
[05:18] TEH LEROY: it costs me
[05:19] TEH LEROY: but I hope that Mari does not say anything about that, I have said many times that I want my site to be the most comfortable for me as well as for others, because it's not just me who sees it
[05:20] ☣MIA☣: x3
[05:25] TEH LEROY: you know? this has made me want to write something long, like explaining why nostalgiamining isn' t that bad, like seriously, i love motherfucking 90's retro designs and thing,  in fact it is something that is never forgotten, well many things can be replaced by better ones, but it is also better to preserve cultures

This is what months of righteous anger has gotten me.

I honest-to-God wanted Neocities to be better. I wanted people to be creative, to be passionate, to have standards. I wanted people to make their sites look totally different from each other. I wanted people to do their own thing. I wanted to open up Neocities and be excited by a vibrant community of people who all have something to share in there, I wanted to believe. And maybe they do. Maybe they still do. But I can't get that from people.

Neocities is still filled with rainbows, little kids, animated GIFs, abandoned guestbooks, and self-dragging from mousy people. For every site that pops up with something cool, like teenagehorrorfactory, there's like five useless sites that'll probably get abandoned when the kid who made it has no clue what to do with it.

And where's it gotten me? Fucking nowhere. I made a ton of enemies over stupid shit. People missed my point. People forgot that "mari hates old sites" wasn't the entire essay. People forgot that half my point was "fuck what I like, do your own goddamn thing". People continually missed or outright ignored the passion that birthed a site like Districts because "mari doesn't like my site".

I tried, and I cared. I wanted to make people think about my point, and failing that, piss them off and challenge them into the why of what I was saying. Yes, it was meant to be incendiary. Was it the right way to go about it? No, I guess not, judging by the logs and logs I've been sent of people who only feel comfortable doing their own thing when I'm not there.

Yes, I'm sure someone will remind me that no one asked me to do this. I get that much. I cared, and I wanted people to care. I don't consider Neocities just any site. Like I said in my original essay over this shit, Neocities is one of the best ideas I've ever seen come out of the modern internet. I love its promise. I love its freedom and its total lack of oversight.

I guess that it comes with the territory, but it's just sad to see it get used like this. I'm tired of being angry over liking shit.

And honestly, I know people are probably gonna have a laugh about this. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I was wrong, and this stopped being worth it a long time ago. I've accomplished nothing. I'm tired of spite.

My original point still stands. You do you. Just make it passionately you. A million Tumblr abouts are tedious. Do something else. That's all I wanted. I'm done belaboring the point.

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